There used to be a beach in North Beach, then a fraudulent financier formed a fantastic, F-shaped fabrication to facilitate fleets and ferries. Forthwith, factories and fishing folks filled in fairly fast, the flora and fauna fading. The financier famously frauded Frisco and fled, finally finishing the fiasco, forlorn and forgotten. And the beach is, too.
Where's the F-ing Beach in North Beach? celebrates the F-shaped pier that later became Fisherman's Wharf by examining North Beach with F-tinted glasses. You'll get the general low-down on San Francisco's "Little Italy" by exploring fires, fairs, film, faith, fiction, foreigners, funny folks, famous flashers, food, fashion, and farchitecture, to name a few.
Where's the F-ing Beach in North Beach? is a feast for the senses:
North Beach is one of the City's favorite destinations, an authentic neighborhood close to Chinatown, the Financial District, and the inauthentic Fisherman's Wharf. It's packed with bars, coffee shops, and plenty of restaurants. Or just sit back and people-watch; it's fun, festive, and friendly.
Where's the F-ing Beach in North Beach? celebrates the F-shaped pier that later became Fisherman's Wharf by examining North Beach with F-tinted glasses. You'll get the general low-down on San Francisco's "Little Italy" by exploring fires, fairs, film, faith, fiction, foreigners, funny folks, famous flashers, food, fashion, and farchitecture, to name a few.
Where's the F-ing Beach in North Beach? is a feast for the senses:
- See one of the City's most famous parks
- Smell San Francisco's most fragrant corner
- Taste free fudge!
- Touch a survivor from the 1906 earthquake
- Hear the history of heroic firemen--and the woman who loved them
North Beach is one of the City's favorite destinations, an authentic neighborhood close to Chinatown, the Financial District, and the inauthentic Fisherman's Wharf. It's packed with bars, coffee shops, and plenty of restaurants. Or just sit back and people-watch; it's fun, festive, and friendly.
What Is Not Included?
Meals are not included in the price of the North Beach tour, but we often stop mid-way for a coffee or snack! Be sure to bring extra cash with you if you're interested in this, and we'll stop if the group is interested.
Gratuities are not included but are always appreciated.
Gratuities are not included but are always appreciated.
Meeting Location
Coit Tower on Telegraph Hill (San Francisco, CA)
(Exact meeting location details will be provided immediately upon purchase of tickets.)
- Do I have to purchase tickets in advance?
- Tickets must be purchased in advance, and tours often sell out quickly. To maximize your chances of getting the day and time you prefer, please book well in advance. Tickets can only be purchased with a Visa, Mastercard, or American Express credit card. Cash is not accepted.
- Is this tour appropriate for children?
- Yes--don't be fooled by the name. This tour is PG-13 and is fun, factual, and family-friendly.
- What if it rains?
- The F-ing North Beach tour runs rain or shine! We have a bad-weather version for rainy days so you will still enjoy yourself just as much.
- Are there any hills on this tour?
- There is one big hill--Telegraph Hill--which we meander down over the course of about five blocks.
- Do we walk the whole time?
- The tour is about half walking and half talking. We stop, discuss a building, person, or historical event, then move to the next stop. We will be making about 12 stops along the tour.
- Does the tour end where we start?
- No, the tour ends near Columbus and Kearny Avenues in North Beach. We feel we can show more of the City by ending in a different area. Plus, we don't want you to have to walk back up Telegraph Hill.
- Should we tip our guide?
- We encourage it. Like all service professions, if you enjoyed the tour, the guide appreciates a tip!
- Why can't we pay with cash?
- Because tours often sell out in advance, tickets must be purchased ahead of time by credit card. Also, some guides are uncomfortable carrying large amounts of cash through high-traffic areas. (But they do appreciate a tip at the end of the tour!)
- Should we drive to where the tour starts?
- We recommend NOT driving in San Francisco. It's noisy, confusing, and frustrating--then you have to park, which is more of the same (and expensive). We'll supply you with other options after you purchase your tickets.
- Are there bathrooms along the way?
- Restrooms are available near the meeting location. We have a few bathroom opportunities along the route also, so if you need to stop, please let us know and we will accommodate you.
- What should we bring on the tour?
- Always be prepared for San Francisco's climate: dress in layers and check the forecast for tour day. Comfortable shoes, a bottle of water, and a camera are recommended. The City has a confusing pattern of streets, so a map can be handy, too. Bring extra cash if you might want to buy coffee or a snack along the way.
- Who will my tour guide be?
- No particular guide is guaranteed for this tour, but all of our guides are professional entertainers and will show you a good time! From comic actors to stand up comedians and improvisers, we have it all. All of our guides are history buffs as well, and will teach you more than you can imagine about the stops along the way.
- Is the tour strenuous?
- You’ll cover about 15 blocks over two hours, including one steep downhill of two blocks and less steep hills of about four blocks.
- Where should we park?
- We strongly recommend public transportation, but if you have to drive, DON'T park on Telegraph Hill. Parking is very limited and often there is a line to get one of the few spots. We'll supply other options after you purchase your tickets.
- Where can I get a map?
- San Francisco's streets were laid out by a drunk who received death threats for the poor job he did. A map is essential because streets can turn into paths or change names. Ask your hotel concierge for a map; they can also provide other helpful information.
- Are any meals included?
- No, there are no meals on this tour, but we often stop mid-way for free fudge samples and a coffee break if our participants request it.
- Can I bring my own food and beverages?
- Sure! Feel free to pack a light knapsack with a snack and bottle of water. There are no meals included on the tour, but we may stop for a quick coffee break if the guests request it!
- Can we take pictures?
- Certainly!
- Can I take a stroller on the tour?
- Yes, strollers are allowed on the tour, but we do go over many curbs, potholes, and doorways. It may be rather difficult to bring a stroller, but of course you are welcome to if you'd like. Parts of the downhill can be very steep.
- Is the tour wheelchair accessible?
- Unfortunately this tour is not wheelchair accessible due to the various hills, curbs, and bumps involved. Please check out one of our other tours!
- Are dogs allowed on the tour?
- Dogs are allowed on the tour but may not be permitted in some of the buildings that we enter.
- Are gift certificates available for this tour?
- Yes! Gift certificates for FOOT! comedy walking tours are great for any occasion. To purchase a gift certificate, click on the "Contact FOOTtours" link.
- Can I book a private tour?
- Certainly! We offer tours for private groups, family events, and corporate team building. We can accommodate a variety of special requests as well, including starting and finishing locations, topics, tour lengths, and just about anything. Please use the "Contact FOOTtours" link to inquire further about special group rates and customized tours.
FOOT! fun walking tours
FOOT!, the city’s only comedy-history walking tour company, has been leading (and leading on) thousands of tourists since 1999.
FOOT! comedy walking tours will show you the funniest routes through San Francisco’s quirky history and unique neighborhoods. Founded by America’s 67th funniest comedian, FOOT! tours are part history, part game show, and all fun.
“That was by far the most entertaining walking tour I have ever taken. You made learning the history of San Francisco so much fun."
--Concierge, Le Meridien Hotel
“Your tour was a memorable highlight of the weekend.”
--SF Convention and Visitors Bureau
“… these themed walks mix humor, facts, and fast-talk...These tours turn history into family fun.”
--Physicians’ Travel & Meeting Guide
FOOT! comedy walking tours will show you the funniest routes through San Francisco’s quirky history and unique neighborhoods. Founded by America’s 67th funniest comedian, FOOT! tours are part history, part game show, and all fun.
“That was by far the most entertaining walking tour I have ever taken. You made learning the history of San Francisco so much fun."
--Concierge, Le Meridien Hotel
“Your tour was a memorable highlight of the weekend.”
--SF Convention and Visitors Bureau
“… these themed walks mix humor, facts, and fast-talk...These tours turn history into family fun.”
--Physicians’ Travel & Meeting Guide
for FOOTtours
